Self Confidence & Divorce: How to Get Back Up
“When my soul gets bubbled inside gloominess, there’s only one potent voice that blasts the bubble, my own inner voice that calls me out, that tells me no one can bring me down except I allow it. Confidence is not believing that you are better than everyone else, It’s realizing that you have no reason to compare yourself to anyone else.”
Everyone admires a self-confident person. We may even envy them a little. Self-confident people seem at ease with themselves and their work. They invite trust and inspire confidence in others. These are attractive characteristics. It's not always easy to be confident in yourself, particularly if you're naturally self-critical, or if other people put you down. However, self comparison is a really negative spiral to get drawn into. Every person is a work in progress, and cannot escape the human experience! Everyone is working on something; struggling with something; trying to improve on something; trying to heal from something; and living in the real world; dealing with real things. No matter what external appearances tell us, their internal reality could be entirely different. Hence, it’s essential to walk your own path so that achieving self confidence can happen.
What is Self-Confidence – and Why Is It Important? Self-confidence is understanding that you trust your own judgment and abilities, and that you value yourself and feel worthy, regardless of any imperfections or of what others may believe about you.
Self-efficacy and self-esteem are sometimes used interchangeably with self-confidence, but they are subtly different. We gain a sense of self-efficacy when we see ourselves (and others like us) mastering skills and achieving goals. This encourages us to believe that, if we learn and work hard in a particular area, we'll succeed. It's this type of confidence that leads people to accept difficult challenges and to keep going in the face of setbacks.
Also, self-esteem comes in part from the feeling that the people around us approve of us. We may or may not be able to control this, and if we experience a lot of criticism or rejection from other people, our self-esteem can easily suffer unless we support it in other ways.
Why Self-Confidence Matters
Self-confidence is vital in almost every aspect of our lives, yet many people struggle to find it. Sadly, this can be a vicious cycle: people who lack self-confidence are less likely to achieve the success that could give them more confidence.
For example, you might not want to back a project that's pitched by someone who's visibly nervous, fumbling, or constantly apologizing. On the other hand, you might be persuaded by someone who speaks clearly, who holds their head high, answers questions with assurance, and readily admits when they don't know something. Confident people inspire confidence in others: their audience, their co-workers, their bosses, their customers, and their friends. And gaining the confidence of others is one of the key ways to succeed. In the following sections we'll see how you can do this.
When talking about self-confidence, posture matters. Adopt an open posture. Sit or stand upright and place your hands by your sides. Avoid standing with your hands on your hips, as this can communicate a desire to dominate. And be sure not to slouch!
Keep your head upright and level. Don't lean too far forward or backward, as this can make you look aggressive. And if you're presenting, use open hand gestures. Spread your hands apart, with your palms facing slightly toward your audience. This indicates a willingness to communicate and to share ideas. Keep your upper arms close to your body.
Building Confident Habits To build a strong sense of self-esteem, and the confidence that develops from it, aim to develop good habits (and to break bad ones!). Look after your physical and mental health; regular exercise can improve both. Make sure that you're getting enough sleep and eating properly. Not doing so can lead to feeling bad in yourself , and likely about yourself. Working on your personal branding can also have a positive impact on your self-confidence. If you can project a positive image of your authentic self, you'll likely start to receive the positive feedback that's so important to your self-confidence.
Reviewing Past Achievements Your self-confidence can increase when you're able to say, "I can do this, and here's the evidence." As part of your Personal SWOT Analysis, you'll have identified things that you're good at, based on your past achievements.