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Ada’s Failed Marriage Story

Updated: Aug 23, 2020


Ada woke up on the morning of June 30th and decided that she had had enough!

Fueled by this assertion, she packed a small bag, called her travel agent to book

a mini vacation at Cape Verde, few days later, she got on the plane and never

looked back.


Before she left, she left instructions for her lawyers to get in touch with Philip – her

husband of 5 years – to serve him the divorce papers. She flinched inwardly when

the seemingly insensitive way of discarding a marriage of 5 years hit her. She was,

however, consoled when she thought of all the abuse she endured throughout

the marriage; it was as though Philip lived to make her feel miserable. She had no

idea how her Cinderella love story became sour.


Ada had always known exactly what she wanted from life and how to get it. From

when she clocked 8, watching the 7pm news with her parents, she made up her

mind to become a journalist, so she can be on TV like the lady reading the news.

From that moment, up till she got to secondary, she represented her school at

every debate competition and brought home the winning prize. She was the head

of the School’s Press Club and subsequently the head prefect. Ada and her three

sisters were raised to believe that being a girl does not mean less opportunities

and the world was their oyster. Her dad was a successful medical doctor and was

at the forefront of finding a lasting solution to the malaria menace in Africa while

her mom was an award winning economist and top executive of the World Bank.

She got into the university to study Mass Communication immediately after

graduation and her years in school were a blur of classes, field trips, debate and

speaking competitions and her internship at one of the leading TV stations in

Lagos. By the time she was 22, she was one of the most sought-after journalists in

the country with more than a few awards under her belt with a Masters Degree to

boot.


She met Philip at one of the events she covered for her station. He was one of the

panelists at the Convention of Under 40 CEOs hosted by a top pan-African

company. She was intrigued by his history; how he rose from nothing to become

one of the most sought-after Tech gurus in the country. She was waiting in line

for small chops after the event when he walked up to her and asked if she was

free to go out for drinks. They got married exactly six months after.


Problems started when he made few investment choices and his company greatly

suffered, plunging it into a spiral of bankruptcy and debts. He had to close down

the company and sold the property to pay off the liability. It took its toll on their

marriage and he went from the caring, loving man to being short tempered, loud

and he was usually drunk by 12 noon. He started complaining about her work

hours and subsequently commanded her to quit her job, she obliged because

they had saved enough to last for a few years and frankly wanted Philip to go

back to the man of her dreams.


Events unfortunately went from bad to worse, she tried to be understanding at

first but when he started to flog Craig, their 3 year-old son, with belt and rope,

she decided that it was time to get help for her marriage. Philip, however, never

showed up for any of the sessions and Ada went from being a confident,

successful journalist to a recluse of her old self.


She saw an Instagram post on the importance of having a sound mental health

and it spoke to everything that was wrong in her life. She had always put Philip

first and she decided that it was time to pay attention to her own health too. She

sent them a message and requested to see Dr. Kafayah, the therapist in charge

of the Instagram page.


Few weeks later, she started seeing life differently and even tried to get Philip to

see the therapist too, she wasn’t surprised when he didn’t. He had slipped into

denial and had become a big ball of nerves and there seemed to be violence

lurking nearby when he was around. She took Craig to her parent’s on the guise

of summer holiday and tried to decide what the next step was. The decision to

end the marriage came easily, the day Philip brought home a lady, when she

confronted him, he threatened to stab her and end her life.


When she got back from her Cape Verde vacation, she moved to the Country's

capital to avoid the many questions from people she knew she wasn’t ready for.

She started a vacation planning company and had high-paying clients within the

few months of starting, Kunle was one of her first clients and they clicked

immediately. He treated her right and even had no problems about her being a

single mum. They got married two years after the day they first met on a sunny

Saturday morning.


In this picture, Ada unapologetically carries out her traditional marriage rites for a second time in her lifetime, adorned in a beautiful attire. Life indeed gives amazing second chances.

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